Rest in Peace

This blog entry is quite somber. A very good friend of mine passed away on Saturday night around 9:15. She had been dealing with cancer for 6 years. It started with breast cancer, went into remission, then returned on other parts of her body. She had chemo for the last 3 years. She wanted to try another kind of chemo but her poor little body was so weak. An active member of our church, fully involved, she was a giving person, a wonderful, beautiful soul that I only hope I have at least a quarter of the faith in God that she had. I went to see her last Sunday. The cancer had spread into her brain. She couldn't hear on one side. She looked so sick. I cried, but I didn't want her to see me crying. I held her hand and just told her how sorry I was that she had to go through all of that pain. Softly, she answered, "It's hard to face, but it will be alright." Her, calming ME. Of course when I entered the room, the first thing she asked was, "How are the girls?" So sweet. I told her that I would take care of her sister, who has been the one helping H throughout this whole ordeal. They live together, neither are married or have children. Now P is all alone, and I worry so much about her. I told H that I didn't want her to see me cry. She said, "It's all the emotions coming out, it shows that you care." I am going to miss her so much. It's going to be so hard to go to the viewing tomorrow night. She was so calm, such at peace. It was almost odd, it helped me be at peace with it too. She is with her heavenly Father now, with no more pain or suffering from the cancer. I am going to step up to the plate and P will be my "missions project" from now on. She has other half-siblings and cousins, but no one near here, as they live out of state. She is a strong, independent woman (they both were), but I know that she will need someone. She's going to be my permanent "prayer partner" who I will keep in contact with at all times. I have such a bond with this family that started at least 10 years ago. I don't want to let that fall by the wayside. I read H's obituary, which, you know, makes it more real that she is no longer with us, and I just cried. Why are we so selfish? She wouldn't want to be back here on this earth with all the pain and misery. She is in a place where there is no more loss.

H, I will miss you so much, but I know you are in a place that we are all longing to be. Someday we will see you again, whole and perfect. You lived your life, even in sickness, with no doubt in your mind who is your Lord, and you are a shining testimony how we should all live. You never gave up hope or uttered a discouraging word in everything you've been through. It has always been, in your mind, what's the next step to get better? Even at the very end, you were encouraging and sang praises to Jesus, even if you couldn't remember the words. Cancer couldn't take your praises away from you. I only hope I have the same words in death as you did. Rest in peace, dear sister.